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Before Deciding to Get Married, Let’s Get to Know the Psychological Development of Children First

IKA Yuniar Cahyanti, M.Psi., Psychologist with family (Photo: Courtesy)

UNAIR NEWS – Lately, there have been quite a lot of campaigns to marry at a young age both on social media or in real life. Thus, students are affected to get married at a young age.

Unfortunately, the enthusiasm for getting married is not balanced with a good parenting campaign and mainly related to how psychological children and building their character. For this reason, UNAIR NEWS will discuss the psychological aspects of children with Ika Yuniar Cahyanti, M.Psi., Psychologist. One of the lecturers at Faculty of Psychology, Universitas Airlangga (UNAIR), a child and adolescent psychology expert.

Child development can be viewed from various aspects such as cognitive, fine motor, gross motoric. Psychologically, child development includes emotions, language, and so on. At least two periods will be passed on children’s emotional development. Besides, it requires children to trust the environment that starts at the age of 0 to 2 years. Moreover, negativistic periods when they are two years and above.

“At the age of 0-2 years, children begin to learn how to manage emotions in dealing with the surrounding environment,” explained the lecturer who is familiarly called Ika.

According to Ika, children at 0 years old, all of his organs are active. What happens in the surrounding environment will enter and become a memory. For example, when the environment imparts good memory to children. So, when the child can respond actively, what comes out is positive.

While the negativistic period generally occurs when children are two years to four years old. In this period, they learn to speak and express their wishes, hoping that the environment will understand and listen.

“This period is significant for parents to understand. Usually, parents will be surprised if children who usually obey will reject their request. “Ika explained.

In dealing with this period, parents must be smart in using strategies. The best thing is negotiating with children so they will learn to express their opinions correctly.

However, when parents always follow the child’s will, they will not have experience in negotiating. When she begins to step in the outside world, they will be shocked.

On the other hand, if parents always force their will as parents to children, there will be two possibilities that can occur. First, the child’s mentality will be weak. Children become passive because they feel scared if they get scolded by their parents every time. Second, children will become rebels.

“Parents must be good at managing strategies. Inviting children to negotiate and allow them to make decisions so, children will feel valued and heard, “said Ika.

For everyone who is going to be married, Ika said that children are a gift from God that will be accounted for later in the hereafter. For that, do not consider children as an object that can be treated as they please.

Author: Galuh Mega Kurnia

Editor: Khefti Al Mawalia