Sexual violence in relationships is not a new phenomenon. On the other hand, it is a problem that affects at least one out of every four victims of violence (Komnas Perempuan, 2021). Sexual violence during dating is a variation of sexual violence. The problems faced by victims during dating are risky because of the gender relationship between the two (Shakti et al., 2022), and this cannot be ignored because it has a negative impact on the victim. Sexual violence in dating has become a common occurrence in romantic relationships. The perpetrator uses sexual violence to manipulate and control their partner to fulfill their desires (Evendi, 2018). This is inextricably linked to trust in the power dynamics between dating partners (Vania & Lentari, 2019).
Sociologically, dating is a relationship between two people as a social relationship between individuals. Dating is similar to friendships, parent-child relationships, husband-wife relationships, and others (Nugroho & Sushanti, 2019). When humans reach the age of adolescence, they frequently engage in dating for a variety of reasons. Dating is a two-person relationship in which each person has an emotional attachment based on unique feelings in their heart (Sari et al., 2018).
Dating has become a popular relationship. Dating should, ideally, be enjoyable. However, in reality, some relationships are prone to violence. This is related to each partner’s understanding of love and affection, which is translated into possession manifested in controlling and being controlled (Abidjulu & Banurea, 2019). Dating also has a reciprocal influence. Each person adjusts to their partner and vice versa. During this process, partners‟ perceptions often diverge, resulting in sexual violence. A study suggests that sexual violence during dating is camouflaged in a container believed to be love (Sholikhah & Masykur, 2020).
This study found that the conditions of the victims before experiencing violence were: being forced to have sexual intercourse in the name of love, being prohibited from using contraception, the perpetrator refusing to wear a condom, being asked to undergo a forced abortion when pregnant, being influenced by illegal drugs and alcohol, engaging in arguments with the perpetrator, being promised marriage, being threatened to have their secrets exposed, being threatened with harm, being threatened with a breakup, and being threatened with the dissemination of videos to their family members or close associates. During the violence, the victim took the following actions: remained silent and compliant, resisted but did not fight back, cried, cursed, hit, ran away, reported to authorities, and reported to NGOs.
According to the findings of this study, sexual violence occurs in patterns of loving relationships. The perpetrator of sexual violence is not the victim but their partner. The victim’s violence is a form of attention given to the partner, as evidenced by the victim’s refusal to let go, even though they know their partner’s actions are wrong and may require psychological treatment. Love becomes a ‘desire to possess,’ causing people to lose themselves. Subjects have become objects in romantic relationships. The victim’s experience of violence by their partner is a form of hegemony in which sexual violence is part of an oppressive system.
Violence is frequently associated with romantic relationships. Love turns into a veil that harms the victim. Gender inequality in relationships is at the root of the problem of sexual violence during dating. Gender equality values, such as the view of equality between men and women, have grown in popularity. However, the victim’s circumstances and the perpetrator’s actions before and during sexual violence indicate the victim was vulnerable.
Efforts are needed to increase the victim’s and perpetrators’s knowledge and awareness of sexual violence. As a result, the victim can take preventative measures to avoid violence. Women who have experienced sexual violence can use various strategies to resist, including reporting to the university’s sexual violence response team or the authorities. Awareness of victims and perpetrators is critical to prevent and address sexual violence. Victims need experts to reduce trauma from sexual violence experienced. Similarly, in terms of the social environment, society’s response does not always support the victim’s recovery from trauma. As a result, dissemination is required to provide an understanding that can be applied directly in daily life. These efforts are aimed at preventing and responding to sexual violence.
Author: Siti Mas’udah
Journal link: https://society.fisip.ubb.ac.id/index.php/society/article/view/497/423
